Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Control Versus Influence

     "We don't control our children's destiny; we only influence it."
     Many parents operate under the mistaken notion that control and influence are the same word. Control means we have 100 percent of the power over outcome. Influence means we have somewhere between 1 and 99 percent of the power over outcome.
     In reality, we can never be 100 percent responsible for the choices our children make. We can only be 100 percent responsible for what we do to try to influence them.
     A very heavy hand, in the long run, can lead to lip-service obedience, passive resistance, or even outright defiance. Our challenge is to continually look for ways to positively influence our children.
     One of the greatest tasks of parents is to develop a relationship with their children that motivates and inspires responsible behavior and promotes openness and trust.
     Many parents focus too much on dealing with surface behaviors and fail to connect on a deeper leve. Behavior is often the end result of a series of events involving one's thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and perceptions.
     To influence our children, they need to sense that it is "safe" to open up and let us "in."

"The Lord shall increase you more and more, you and your children"  Psalm 115:14

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